Thursday, October 23, 2008

Yesterday I told my boss I would be leaving at the end of December for a missionary trip. I can't say what I expected to happen, but I was nervous. Turns out I didn't need to be. He and our HR person both congratulated me and though they couldn't help thinking about everything that will need to be done as a result of my leaving (we are in the process of restructering the Marketing department - of which I am a part) they expressed their happiness for me!
So, that's exciting, cause now everyone will know I'm leaving in 2 months and when something goes wrong at work I can say, "I don't care, I'm leaving in 2 months!" Which won't be entirely true, cause I will care, but I can say I don't!
At any rate, the plan is to hire someone into my position who I will then get to train before I go. If they don't hire anyone, well, I still get to go. :)

Oh yeah, and I bought my plane ticket to San Antonio yesterday. Yea!

Monday, October 20, 2008

Grateful

Thank you so much for all the support and responses from everyone!! I have such amazing friends and can't express my appreciation adequately. It is so reassuring to know I'll be leaving with many prayers and goodwill to send me off. It didn't really hit me until last night that I'll be leaving behind everything that I know and heading off into the unknown on my own. Talk about testing my faith! It's all about creating space for God though, right? When I am lowest is when He is closest. (or when I am scared-est) And I think living in a religious community will definitely support my spiritual growth.

Speaking of the religious community I'll be living with, the Salasian Sisters were founded by St. Mary Mazzarello (1837-1881), who worked with St. John Bosco (who founded the Salesians) and founded the Salesian Sisters in 1872.
I have the Coat of Arms for the Salesian Sisters posted on my blog, so I though an explanation of the symbols would be helpful:

The Dove represents the Holy Spirit who is the source of the spiritual life that animates our Salesian mission.
Mary Help of Christians, our Mother, whose direct intervention brought our congregation into existence.
Lilies signify our Consecrated Chastity that enables us to give ourselves totally for the young.
A Forest, through play on words, represents our founder, Don Bosco. "Bosco" means forest in Italian.
The Well represents the Italian town, Mornese, birthplace of our foundress, St. Mary Mazzarello.
The Anchor stands for the Hope that fills our spirit with courageous daring.
The Star is the symbol of the Faith that impels us to serve the Lord in joyful fidelity.
The Heart represents the Love Salesians have for the young people they serve.
Roses symbolize the Loving Kindness that imbues our family spirit.

I like that the anchor is so big and draws the eye. It seems to represent my life right now - a new hope, and courage will be needed to take this step on my walk with God. Thank you again for all your support and prayers - definitely helps with the courage part of the anchor symbol!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

And So It Begins

This post is rather lengthy - just to prepare you. Best to take a bathroom break now.

For the last 6 years or so I have felt (to greater and lesser degrees) called to missionary work. This last year it has virtually consumed me as I hunted and researched groups to apply through. Then, back at the beginning of September, I came across a website for the Salesian Sisters and it felt right; like I had arrived at my destination. I sent in the preliminary application and they responded by asking me to complete the full application. The deadline was October 1st. It was not a short application.

The next three weeks were a flurry as I called around to doctors to get a physical, I sent out reference requests, of which I needed four, requested school transcripts, made copies of documents, filled out my own reference and the full application form which included 5 essay questions. The instructions for the essay questions actually said, "Please keep your responses limited to 1 to 2 typed pages." I felt a little overwhelmed, but terribly excited. I completed all the tasks they had set before me. My references were in (thank you, thank you, thank you!). I put the application in the mail on Tuesday, September 22nd.

On Wednesday October 8th I received an email telling me I had been accepted to the program! How excited was I? I managed to contain my excitement until after the work day ended (work does not know yet that I am leaving in December).

Now there is so much to do!

But before I get in to that, I have to explain some of the story that led up to this point. I shared this talk at Connect after coming back from World Youth Day (WYD) - Sydney in August, and my friend Amanda encouraged me to share my witness. I wrote it in my journal, but I'm finally going to post it here.

Before even signing up to go to WYD, I didn't really have my heart set on going. I wanted to do missionary work - preferably outside the country - for a year or more. With so many of my friends planning weddings for '08 (and having been asked to stand in all of them - how can I say no, I love these guys!) I didn't want to miss these momentous occasions in my friends lives. So I decided to postpone my ambitions for a year - which is why I decided to go to WYD.

As anyone can tell you, a substitute is not as good as the original. The approach of the impending pilgrimage seemed to taunt me - a constant reminder of my unrealized dreams. Just another device I had put in my way to try and distract myself from what I should be doing - following God's call on my heart to missionary work.

The night before we left for Australia I called my mom and broke down sobbing. I couldn't seem to feel happy and excited like I should before such an amazing trip. Instead, I was dreading it. My mom asked all the right questions and helped me break through the mask I had been hiding behind. Until that point, I didn't fully realize what lay behind that mask of disinterest, anger, and confusion; now I know it harbored my unfulfilled dreams.

Feeling a bit better with this new knowledge, I hung up with my mom and proceeded to go to Erin and repeat the process, crying on her shoulder. Then we drank wine. I felt much better after that.

My time in Australia turned out to be a time of freedom for me. Freedom from the stresses and worries of work; from responsibilities to my family and friends; from everything that can weigh you down. With all these responsibilities and concerns lifted from me, I became more aware of myself. The me behind the mask. And without all the distractions of everyday life, I was able to very clearly hear God's call for me.

In the end, traveling to Australia was not another distraction, but a clarification of what I needed to do. It jump started my journey down a new path - currently headed toward San Antonio, Texas for orientation to my missionary program.

Even now, after all this, I don't think missionary work is the end task God is calling me toward, it feels more like a first step, and if the first step is this exciting, I can't wait to see what He's got in store next!