And So It Begins

This post is rather lengthy - just to prepare you. Best to take a bathroom break now.

For the last 6 years or so I have felt (to greater and lesser degrees) called to missionary work. This last year it has virtually consumed me as I hunted and researched groups to apply through. Then, back at the beginning of September, I came across a website for the Salesian Sisters and it felt right; like I had arrived at my destination. I sent in the preliminary application and they responded by asking me to complete the full application. The deadline was October 1st. It was not a short application.

The next three weeks were a flurry as I called around to doctors to get a physical, I sent out reference requests, of which I needed four, requested school transcripts, made copies of documents, filled out my own reference and the full application form which included 5 essay questions. The instructions for the essay questions actually said, "Please keep your responses limited to 1 to 2 typed pages." I felt a little overwhelmed, but terribly excited. I completed all the tasks they had set before me. My references were in (thank you, thank you, thank you!). I put the application in the mail on Tuesday, September 22nd.

On Wednesday October 8th I received an email telling me I had been accepted to the program! How excited was I? I managed to contain my excitement until after the work day ended (work does not know yet that I am leaving in December).

Now there is so much to do!

But before I get in to that, I have to explain some of the story that led up to this point. I shared this talk at Connect after coming back from World Youth Day (WYD) - Sydney in August, and my friend Amanda encouraged me to share my witness. I wrote it in my journal, but I'm finally going to post it here.

Before even signing up to go to WYD, I didn't really have my heart set on going. I wanted to do missionary work - preferably outside the country - for a year or more. With so many of my friends planning weddings for '08 (and having been asked to stand in all of them - how can I say no, I love these guys!) I didn't want to miss these momentous occasions in my friends lives. So I decided to postpone my ambitions for a year - which is why I decided to go to WYD.

As anyone can tell you, a substitute is not as good as the original. The approach of the impending pilgrimage seemed to taunt me - a constant reminder of my unrealized dreams. Just another device I had put in my way to try and distract myself from what I should be doing - following God's call on my heart to missionary work.

The night before we left for Australia I called my mom and broke down sobbing. I couldn't seem to feel happy and excited like I should before such an amazing trip. Instead, I was dreading it. My mom asked all the right questions and helped me break through the mask I had been hiding behind. Until that point, I didn't fully realize what lay behind that mask of disinterest, anger, and confusion; now I know it harbored my unfulfilled dreams.

Feeling a bit better with this new knowledge, I hung up with my mom and proceeded to go to Erin and repeat the process, crying on her shoulder. Then we drank wine. I felt much better after that.

My time in Australia turned out to be a time of freedom for me. Freedom from the stresses and worries of work; from responsibilities to my family and friends; from everything that can weigh you down. With all these responsibilities and concerns lifted from me, I became more aware of myself. The me behind the mask. And without all the distractions of everyday life, I was able to very clearly hear God's call for me.

In the end, traveling to Australia was not another distraction, but a clarification of what I needed to do. It jump started my journey down a new path - currently headed toward San Antonio, Texas for orientation to my missionary program.

Even now, after all this, I don't think missionary work is the end task God is calling me toward, it feels more like a first step, and if the first step is this exciting, I can't wait to see what He's got in store next!