What´s been happening

So much has happened, I´m not sure I can get it all in one post. Let me start out by saying I have been feeling much better the last two weeks. Better than what? you might ask. Let me sum up:

March and April were spectaculary terrible months for me. I had an on again, off again relationship with depression and couldn´t seem to find the courage to break it off. This left me very drained, lack-luster, and terminally sad. I missed home as though it were the only thing that could make me happy and had stopped bothering to study Spanish - I didn´t care. I made contact with a couple people at home, and it helped, but didn´t solve my problem. I finally called my parents to tell them when I came home in June I would be staying home, I didn´t want to return. That was my lowest point.

That same day I talked to the Principle down here to express how unhappy I felt and I also talked to the volunteer coordinator in Texas to see what could be done (a transfer, go home, or something). Having already made the decision in my mind to go home, I felt much better. Suddenly, the school didn´t seem like such a prison and I thought of all the things I wanted to do before I left.

I spent all of the next day (Friday) in prayer and reflection between my classes. I came across the link on Dom´s Facebook page to Discernment of Spirits by St. Ignatius (http://www.nwjesuits.org/JesuitSpirituality/Exercises/SpEx313_336.html) and knew right away I had to read this, and I did. The 2nd and the 4th rule hit home. I read on. I read it over several times. Then I prayed. Simply having identified this spirit of Desolation seemed to help me get free of that depression which had hounded me for 2-3 months. I realized that my lack of prayer had allowed this depression to settle over me and for the last two weeks I have been free of it.

A few things have changed here at the school now. Solidea and I no longer teach the Sunday English classes - yesterday was our last day. There is another teacher now. Also, Wednesday is our last day teaching the two 7th grade classes, another teacher will be taking over those. We found a beach with tourists where we can relax and find other people to socialize with, and last weekend we went to Honduras to spend time with Solidea´s friend Marta (volunteer in Honduras) and some of Marta´s friends from Honduras. We had a wonderful time and now we have some friends in Central America. Granted, none of our friends are from Central America (Marta´s friends are actually from Holland and Chile and are currently living in Honduras). Nonetheless, friends.

I´m still traveling home for Mike´s ordination this June, but I will be returning afterwards. I don´t dread each day anymore and now, with the entire weekend free, Solidea and I have great plans for travel! I feel full of life and have picked up my flashcards again to expand my Spanish vocabulary. Happy to be in the Spirit of Consolation!